Last year, as I shared, our once lovely and far-reaching back lawn all died due to the drought and we began the process of re-landscaping the yard ourselves in a drought-resistant fashion. Because the cost of materials - such as yards and yards of pea gravel and decomposed granite - were beyond our budget, Brad scoured the free section of Craigslist about 10 times a day for many months until we had close to half our project finished. And then the storms came.
And I've shared that our backyard got thrashed. And our pool (picture from last Summer) got a mudslide. And then, we found last week that our pool cracked in half from the shifting of the earth. (Going from a 7 year drought to a huge flood will evidently irritate your aging pool.) To the eye, and from standing, the crack doesn't look catastrophic, but it is in fact a deadly crack. We will have to have a company either totally resurface the pool or we will have to fill it. Currently- as we investigate all our options- we have a temporary fix to keep it from leaking and, they say, it likely won't last long.
Also this week- I wanted an armoire of sorts for my younger daughter's room but it wasn't going to work for my family to spend a lot of money on it, so I got her one for $50 at a second-hand store. When I brought it home, it was literally painted a shade of what I will call "poo brown." Who the fuck would paint an armoire such a color? I have no idea. But- Brad and I took turns re-painting it in a color that our daughter picked out. I believe it was called "Clear Water" or something like that. Anyway, it was a far cry from poo. It was important for me to update my younger daughter's room. So, I did it on my budget. It took up some of my time. But I made it happen.
I understand that eventually, what is truly important to me, will materialize. I make it so, through my energy. That said, there were times in my life, years and years, when what I thought was important to me, actually wasn't. (A reasonable sign that something is not for you, is that over time you are not in any way receiving it and you are in emotional hell because of this.) Through the process of following my heart, I was able to eventually let go of the things that were not in alignment with how my life was actually supposed to be - and I spoke of that a bit last post. I would say it took me my first 30 years of life to start to truly chisel off the biggest chunks of that which held me down, and the next 15 years to do the important detail work. I am still chiseling away, of course. It's a life's journey (and more, I suspect.) But I now know that when there is freedom and joy- I'm on the right path.
One's heart and one's life path are always aligned. It is our life's work to get to where we can see that parallel clearly. In the case of my back yard, for instance, it always looks like a great mess to me. And now the pool. And yet I know one day I will look out into my backyard and see my vision and dream materialized. In the same way my marriage materialized, my children and my health. All these things I worked very hard for in the sense that I had to get clear-minded before they appeared. Materializing the big stuff (like a joyful marriage) or little stuff (like pretty backyards and armoires) ...in a sense, it's all the same thing. And it all takes the same work because it's all about THOUGHTS.
My neighbor says...oh that is such a bummer about your pool! And I think to myself, is it a bummer? Or is it an adventure? And what will my energy be like reverberating out in the world if I view it as a bummer? And what will it be like if I view it as an adventure? How will I relate to people differently depending on what my energetic viewpoint is? How will I relate to my kids?
You could take it in a big (huge) way and expand it politically. How will we act to ourselves and others if we determine the world is a scary place that is falling apart? OR, how will act to ourselves and others if we determine that there are simply problems to be solved and we are capable of solving them? See the energetic difference? It's a vodka shot VS. a green juice. One bogs you down and gets you blurry and stresses your body. One is forthright and contains the healing and the positive. In my case anyway, that's how I view it.
What is the resistance? That is the question I am still pondering in this post. Pinterest can create resistance, for example, or any form of "viewing" that sucks you so far away from your own reality that you feel you'll never be able to achieve what you want. I allow myself very limited time on Pinterest, because soon I realize the free time I had to actually make a difference was wasted being a voyeur. A vortex of perfect little girl's rooms and eloquent bohemian backyards on Pinterest can suck a woman's life away. Eventually, you need to get off the damn computer, buy the $50 shit brown armoire and get to work, man!
Life is for the living and doing and creating. What is that quote? Something about 1 % inspiration and 99% perspiration?
A wish is a vision if you would so like it to be. See it that way, push up your sleeves, and keep walking.